Couples and Sexuality – Amp Up Your Sex Life This Summer by Cooling Down!

Would you like to beat the heat to enhance your sex life this summer? Extreme heat in the summer months can be a love repellant, especially when you feel hot and bothered or when the kids are up and around for more hours. This can create a challenge for you making love with your partner. Does this sound familiar? If so, read on for some solutions….

It’s a hot one this year! Keeping hydrated with clean water at all times is of the utmost importance for your health and your sex life, no matter what activities you do. Here are five fun and affordable ideas on keeping your love life hot while your body stays cool this summer:

Love tip 1: Pool party for two
Cool down in the water then heat things up! Float, relax, and break out the rafts and noodles; whatever floats your boat! Play some nice soft music while you dip. Taking a swim in your pool is a wonderful way to cool down and connect. Remember to flirt, hug, and smooch in the pool to amp things up. If you have a private pool, then skinny dipping can be very daring and arousing. Take your time- move slowly towards and away from each other playfully. Making love in the water is a fun way to share your passion while staying cool, especially at night when the temperature drops a bit. If you have kids, send them to Grandmas or your favorite sitter for the night!

Love tip 2: Romantic indoor picnic:
Buy or prepare some cool treats for the two of you- veggie platter, cold salads, fruits, cheeses or anything else chilled and easy that you enjoy eating together. Make some cold drinks such as spiked lemonade, Mojitos or Margaritas. Remember that alcohol dehydrates, so drink some extra water with your picnic dinner. Set up your picnic blanket in the middle of the room. Light some small candle jars around the room and set the mood. One or both of you can prepare the feast.

Feed each other slowly in-between kissing and teasing each other. Enjoy yourselves by candlelight. You can also enhance the mood with nature CDs such as ocean, forest, lake, or whatever you find most romantic. Tonight, make love in a different room, such as the living room on the picnic blanket. Focus on giving each other oral pleasure tonight, so each of you has a turn to lay back, relax, and stay cool while enjoying the bliss of orgasm!
Love tip 3: Romantic movie date:

This cool date can be at home or out. If you go out to the movies, find a very romantic movie out in the theaters. There is usually at least one each summer. Find a seat in the back of the theater. Hold hands! Steal a kiss or two. Whisper sweet something to each other about what you will do to each other later. Share some popcorn and chilled water while you enjoy the movie. Laugh, cry, and then go home to make love.

Love tip 4: Racy movie date:
If you are at home, rent or buy a racy movie. There is a company called Candida Royalle that offers some softer adult films with cheesy romantic story lines. One site you can get them at is Adam Eve. You can also find some harder core adult films on that site, depending on your tastes. You can have fun with these movies, giggle or reenact some of the scenes together. Try some different sexual positions tonight, such as woman on top facing away from the man. This allows for maximum air circulation and freedom to move in a way that pleases her. Don’t forget to reach around to stimulate her clitoris to send her into O-land! Remember to drink plenty of water, and top it off with ice cream or some fruit salad.

Love tip 5: Cool and Hot Shower Time:
Instead of taking a hot shower tonight, make the water lukewarm or on the cooler side. Bring some waterproof toys such as I rub my duckie or a waterproof vibrator. You can also use a movable shower head that has different speeds for some soapy fun! Spend time lathering each other up. Take your time and use a nice scented soap, such as mango, raspberry or lemon.

By the way, vibrators can be for him and her! Massage each others back and front areas, focusing first away from the genitals and then later to the genitals. To stimulate her, use circular motions with the vibrator around the labia and clitoris where most of the nerve endings are. Later, insert one or two fingers gently into her vaginal canal. She may be able to reach one, two, three or more orgasms this way in a row. To get him going, stimulate his penis with one hand and using the vibrator underneath his testicles. Ask for feedback to see how it feels. Some people like vibrators and some don’t. Experiment with different speeds. When you are done, rinse off and dry each other off and then fall asleep together. Turn on the ceiling fans for some extra breeze.

Sex Stories – Could it Be the Climax to a Great Night’s Sleep?

Did you know that sex stories may be the answer to getting a good night’s sleep? Yup, that’s right sex stories. Sounds a heck of a lot better than Valium or elephant sized doses of sleepy time tea, doesn’t it? Sex has been proven to be a great sleep inducer and spicing up your sex life with sex stories can be a big help in getting the sleep you need. There is no argument that the restorative powers of sleep are needed for a healthy and happy lifestyle. Sex stories can help add to your sex life making the sex better as well as your sleep.

Not sleeping can be dangerous to your health, but using sex stories as a sex aid can help stem off the negative stimuli that causes us not to be able to sleep. Studies have shown that sleep deprivation can bring on serious disease such as dementia and Parkinson’s disease. Not to mention how it can generally mess up other things in your life like your work, family life relationships, etc. The key is to wind your body and brain down just before bed and sex is the perfect way to do that. Using sex stories can put your in the mood to have sex by exciting your mind and helping to reach a better and more satisfying orgasm. That is what puts you to sleep, the release.

Some may argue that reading sex stories would get your brain too excited and may not be the best way to get a good night’s slumber. Not true. As mentioned before, it’s the release in sex that brings the mind and body down into a restful satisfied state more conducive to deep sleep. Excitement before bed such as action movies or going for a jog or other exercise have negative effects on your sleep because the endorphin build up stimulates your brain without the benefit of release. This is what causes your brain to work overtime and diminishes your ability to fall asleep.

Sex stories definitely have a nice dual effect don’t they? Spicing up your sex life while enjoying a restful night’s sleep should sound pretty good to just about anyone! Sleep is so important to your health, so is sex, so this sleep remedy is a real winner! Sure is a lot more attractive than trips to the doctor, pharmacy or the health food store.

Anime Comics Has Increased in Popularity in America

Gen-X’ers and older Gen-Y’s grew up in the 1980s, when comic book series cartoons like “The X-Men,” “Justice League,” “Captain America,” “Teen Titans,” “Spider-Man,” “Batman,” “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” and “The Transformers.” As these kids aged, they became adults in their 20s and 30s, creating comic book movie blockbusters to keep the legacy going. The next generation of younger Gen-Y’s would look to Japan and China for their comic book series. They grew up with “Dragonball Z,” “Pokemon” and “Sailor Moon.” Anime comics came to America with surprising fervor and it’s not likely to dissipate anytime soon.

The DC and Marvel Comic fans sometimes view anime fans as the ultimate nerds, the plot lines as “cheesy” and the characters as “daft” or “annoying.” Older Americans often scratch their heads and ask, “Why are anime comics so popular among today’s youth?” Some could argue it was a massive advertising campaign that came over from Japan, who saw America and Europe as large, untapped markets. The challenge was to rework their material into exportable goods with English sub-titles and over-dubs.

They farmed enthusiasm with several different products, with movies like “Ghost in the Shell” or “Akira” and cartoon series like “Dragonball Z,” “Pokemon” and “Sailor Moon.” The basic business model was to keep costs low, try a little of everything and see what works. Once their endeavors showed great success, the merchandise, the manga comics and the graphic novels made their way over as well. It was the basic economic edict of supply and demand. Give the fans what they want in every capacity, such as with figurines, costumes, backpacks, t-shirts, manga comics, DVDs, downloads and comic book series.

Moreover, the messages in anime comics reach today’s youth at a level that traditional DC or Marvel comic books missed. Anime focuses more on emotions, relationship struggles, introspection, adventurous personal quests and the hero’s journey; all in surreal, magical surroundings. Unlike cartoons for kids, anime characters will die and complex relationships are formed. Nothing is off-limits in the anime world, not even sex or violence.

People are confronted with deep concepts and provoked to think about the meaning of life. In a way, it’s the softer, psychological side of Marvel, blended with the magical, omniscient qualities of a DC superhero: the best of both worlds. For the male fans, some manga comics are adapted to show sexier heroines — some in their coy school girl uniforms, others with more Westernized curves and futuristic apparel. Yet for the female fans, plots center on soap opera type stories of love, longing and character development. In fact, women make up half the attendees at the anime comics conventions.

Sex Story: How to Craft a Great One

When it comes to sex, so much emphasis is placed on what people do. And for obvious reason. But what about what people say? Particularly for long-distance lovers, words become an important device for expressing themselves and connecting sexually. While men must focus on maintaining good penile health so that any visual materials they send aren’t alarming, and so that they will be able to perform once the lover is nearby, they should equally attend to their verbal abilities so they can please partners in the present with a tailored sex story.

Now, anyone can tell a sex story, but not everyone can tell a truly thrilling one. Below, men can find tips for telling a tale that stokes a lover’s passion. And, while this is certainly desired in the case of long-distance lovers, it can also be of benefit to those near and dear, spicing things up in the bedroom.

1. Learn what she likes (and doesn’t). Any man can tell a story about what he likes, and about what other women he’s been with have liked, but tailoring a story to a particular lover’s preferences and fantasies will make all the difference for her. So some explicit pre-conversation will be very helpful. Does she have any kinks or fetishes? What positions does she love? Does she like to be in control, to relinquish control or a combination of the two? What kind of foreplay really gets her going? Where are her hot spots, inside and out?

Once a man has the details, he can use them wisely throughout his story. He should be careful not to turn the story into a formulaic bullet-point list of her desires. Intersperse aspects of what she likes with what the story-teller craves – having made sure that she is comfortable with what he likes. Learning what she doesn’t like is just as important here.

2. Get into her pleasure. This is one of the most important general sex tips, not just a story-telling tip. But a story is going to be much better if a man not only “ticks the boxes” of a lady’s preferences, but actually gets into the idea of pleasuring her. This opens him up to more descriptive language, imagining her writhing, moaning, gasping and so on, and responding sexually himself to her reactions, describing how much he enjoys the pleasure his “character” is giving hers.

3. Interactive or monologue? Lovers can play around with different formats for story-telling. They may want to start off exchanging monologues about what they want to do and to have done to them. Then they can move to live chatting or speaking in which the primary story-teller is open to interjections and revisions from the other, or the two can take equal turns building the tale.

4. It’s all in the details. Telling a great sex story requires consistency and detail – imagine the way bodies are positioned throughout, and make reasonable transitions to other positions. Were her hands tied behind her back? If she’s going to use her hands on one’s member in the next scene, they need to be untied, for example. Breaking consistency can break the magic of a steamy tale.

5. Be realistic. The best sex story is realistic. If a man writes or says that the second he enters a woman, she climaxes, that’s not likely to titillate her because it’s not likely to happen in real life. Don’t write about crazy positions that her flexibility or one’s own strength would not facilitate. While it may seem like no big deal to portray ideals and wild fantasies, this could convey to her that a man wants or expects things she can’t deliver, and that’s not a sexy thought.

Many couples choose to supplement their verbal tales with risqué pictures, and that’s a great idea for people who trust one another. A good sex tip for guys in this vein is to be mindful to make their organs as presentable as possible so that their dick pics are appealing. Minding the condition of the skin is crucial here. A penis health crème (health professionals recommend Man1 Man Oil) with Shea butter and vitamin E will keep the skin moisturized, eliminated the common issues of dryness and flakiness. Plus, such a product will help minimize chafing, which is inevitable with all the cranking a man is likely to do while crafting and receiving hot sex stories.

Sex Education For Minors

Here is how it was when I was a kid. We learned about sex in school, in church, and of course, in our neighborhoods. Some kids had little comic books with hard-porn sex illustrations. I can only speak for the boys. I started to hear of sexual experiences from boys when I was in elementary school. Most of them were not true but we liked to hear them and live them vicariously.

We had little experience with girls but boys have an interest in girl’s anatomy when they are very young, barely out of kindergarten, and they will try to explore their interest perhaps asking a girl to show her private parts.

Masturbation was common, speaking only for the boys. Group masturbation or “speed” contests occurred. There were occasional homosexual acts. Some boys began having sexual intercourse when in their early teens. These were called, “bad kids.”

When I was about 12, my father took me on a 20 mile hike telling me about the birds and the bees. He mainly told me horror stories about masturbation. I really didn’t know what he was talking about. I was much more interested in the old pits used for catching black bears, the snakes, and the fact that my father knew all the wild flowers by name. The most interesting thing was his story about the bear trainer who was sparing with a black bear who took only one swing at the man. He was knocked out for several days, more like a week.

Later a doctor was brought to the church to talk to the boys about masturbation. To say the least, we all had a great interest in the subject. Again, I was one of the youngest boys and got into a fit of the giggles. So did a couple of other boys. It was all new to us!

I might add that not all boys took up masturbation, just most of them.

Some boys had wet dreams. These were often told in detail. One boy had a dream where his ROTC instructor was really a woman in disguise. That way his admiration for the instructor and his desire for sex were satisfied in one swell scoop.

Sex was “totally revealed” in junior high school and high school but not in the classroom. We were now associating with girls and we played such games as “Post Office.” We often mentioned the game “Pony Express,” which was said to be “Post Office with a little more horsing around.”

In “Spin the Bottle” or “Post Office” the reward was to go into a dark bedroom with a girl and receive a kiss. I don’t remember how the game of “Post Office” was played but I remember “Spin the Bottle,” a game we had played when we were tiny kids.

Some boys were now dating, Many of us were not.

So that is how we got our education. I remember a short morality lecture in my high school gym class, but that was it.

The fact of the matter is that we never had any in-depth sex education.

Sexual Codes

I don’t think that in nature there is a code of conduct in regard to sexuality. Other primates have their own ideas. Some are very promiscuous to prevent confrontations. Others are more discrete, the males vigorously guarding their harem. This occurs with many other animal species.

Young animals are not always safe from adult males. If a female will come into heat, or estrus, if her young are killed, the young are in grave danger. Male lions are known for this behavior. The reasoning given by those who study such critters is that they must spread their DNA quickly or lose the chance to other marauding males. I think they know nothing of such talk. They just want sex.

A Zulu chief once said that clothing led to promiscuity, not nudity. When everyone is nude, nobody has a question about the anatomy of males and females. Some male children are bathed with their mother when very young and know about her. But most children know little of the opposite sex’s anatomy.

Now days, because of television, children are exposed to nudity and sex. Actually, you can not see sex organs of a woman when she is nude. You see some pubic hair maybe, but not anything else. Television and movies until recently did not show the sex organs of men. Well, now you see that.

I suppose that hard porn leaves nothing to the imagination. That is something that I have stayed away from. Well, when I was a kid, a friend freshly home from the navy, showed me some pics he bought in the Philippians. Such images tend to stick in the mind.

Part of our problem is that we paint sex as wicked rather than as natural as scratching your nose. In some societies, teenagers are left to their whims, that is if we have not killed those societies off, they take off from the community and have sex. Fidelity comes only after marriage. Such societies simply face the facts and they don’t have our problems. Babies come and, in at least the Amazon, they come from the Man in the Moon. Nasty fellow!

Some societies think that a stranger needs food, water, warmth, shelter and sex. They are know to share their wives with guest. You must travel north to see that but is all existent in other societies. We call those “Primitive Societies.”

Some northern climes seem to promote sexual laxity.

I think that in most civilizedcommunities, sex education in schools is mandatory. Abstinence before marriage is often promoted and that works for many teenagers. The complaint here is that the emphasis may be “too much” on condoms and pregnancy prevention rather than local moral issues.

Here are my opinions for what they are worth:

Teaching in the Home

I asked my wife when she taught our children about modesty. She said when they start dressing themselves. In out society we often judge people by how they dress. We can teach our children to be modest and we can teach them about clothing and how it looks to others.

I asked her about how she taught other issues of sex to our children. She said that I taught the “hard stuff.” I told he that I couldn’t remember doing it but she said I did. It must have been during our Monday night family meetings when we taught a lesson, played games, and had refreshments. Based on that, I assume I taught the tenets of our church. So, maybe that is how you can teach your children at home. Spend on evening with them each week and teach them a lesson, have some fun, eat, and plan out the schedule for the week so everyone will know how the twins are getting to soccer practice and how Mary will get to her piano lesson.

I never taught any details of sex. We taught it belongs in marriaige and that is a binding force between couples and brings children into the home.

Teaching in Religious Organizations

If your religion has youth groups, that may be a good place to teach kids about ethics and moral conduct. Our church has the young men and young women separated most of the time. That leads to an opportunity to teaching specifics. One leader taught that the boys have a little “machine” inside them that brings on wet dreams occasionally and to leave it at that. One said that masturbation is stupid. The boys are not to masturbate but to be morally clean so they can represent the church throughout the world.

Teaching in Schools

I think sex topics should be taught early and often. In the early years, specifics of anatomy and reproduction could be taught. As children get older, they can be taught about sexually transmitted diseases such as was once taught in the military, the risks, the dangers, and prevention. The old military films showed some awful results of gonorrhea and syphilis. They showed male parts falling off and a soldier causing his wife to give birth to a blind child due to his gonorrhea. When I was in the army, the thinking was changed and replaced with morality training.

I think that sexual norms can be taught, helping students learn what is expected by them in society. Fidelity should be emphasized. Why? Because a person who is promiscuous before marriage may be apt to be unfaithful after marriage. That leads to much sorrow, legal problems, financial problems, and trauma to parents and children. This however, I understand, is not true in some parts of New Guinea. Fidelity usually works there despite premarital infidelity.

Premarital Counseling

I think a lot of misunderstanding and problems between newly weds could be removed by premarital counseling. Men can be very naive about a women, her needs, her concerns, and her anatomy. I realize that with time, things will come together but it would be better if these things were taught sooner. There are still many newly weds who are not experienced in sexual matters.

Unfortunately, there are many adults who have been married for some years who don’t know what should be going on. That is why we have so many sex clinics.

Nina Hartley’s Guide to Total Sex – One of the Most Thorough Sex Manuals Ever!

Nina Hartley’s Awesome Sex Guide
First and foremost, I must admit that I am a sex book junkie. I love books, I love sex, and the marriage of the two, when done right, can send this self-proclaimed sex geek over the edge. It’s phenomenal. I could take a picture to display just a portion of the sex-related books and DVDs (yes, I own those too) I hoard, but you’d think I was a sex-a-holic. (Not to say I’m not, but if I am, I haven’t fully accepted it, so I’ll admit there’s a tiny bit of a chance I’m in denial.)

Either way, I happened upon Nina Hartley by way of an interesting conversation with a male friend of mine. He’s an open-minded sexually free spirit, so I tend to trust his opinion on these matters. When he mentioned her name, I was reminded of all the times I’ve leafed through a Playboy Store catalog or “window-shopped” sexual material on Amazon and totally skipped over her products. Considering our sexually wild kindred spirits, I decided to take his advice just a little and checked out Nina Hartley’s Guide to Total Sex (a book, though he preferred DVD). Needless to say, I was not disappointed.

Quick Summary:

Nina Hartley, bisexual adult film star, discusses the ins and outs of sex for a general adult audience that desires to improve sexual knowledge and performance with a lover (or two – and maybe three or more at once) or by and for themselves. Chapters are broken down to discuss various sexual topics in a detailed, unhurried manner that aims to provide an exhaustive account of the subject that can enhance, refresh or enlighten the reader’s current knowledge.

Nina Hartley’s Guide to Total Sex: Candid Book Review
Nina Hartley’s Guide to Total Sex was one of the most comprehensive and entertaining sex-related reads I’ve experienced in quite some time. Hartley and her co-author, I.S. Levine, clearly know how to describe and explain the sex goddess’ teachings in a manner that’s lighthearted, friendly and even comical at times.

Pros:

* Unabashedly pro-sexual and liberating. A self-proclaimed “unabashed sexual liberationist,” Hartley encourages taking erotic responsibility for your “sexual actions and intentions,” which is empowering, especially if you’ve dealt with negative social and cultural conditioning about how sex and sexuality should be.

* Encourages “know thyself” beyond mirrors and masturbation. We’ve all gotten the proverbial suggestion to “look in the mirror and relate to your vagina” exercise, coupled with “masturbate often” as the primary path to discover your sexuality. There’s nothing wrong with this, however, the most powerful sex organ of all – your brain – is ignored. Hartley pushes beyond this helpful yet relatively superficial advice, and instructs you to candidly address your own sexual identity, as it’s “vital to establishing an erotic link with a compatible other.”

* Organized, entertaining and detailed. As a bisexual adult performer, Hartley literally writes from experience in an intelligent, candid manner that’s peppered with personal anecdotes and goes light on clichés. Thoroughly written and detailed, GTS is over 350 pages, separated into 18 chapters that are broken down and organized into 3 sections: Basics (including orgasms, masturbation, foreplay, sexual positions and anal sex), Extras (toys, swinging, threesomes), and Options (BDSM – and each letter gets its own chapter). Makes for an interesting read – or coffee table accessory.

Cons:

* Too much information for too general an audience. Though Hartley’s book provides an excellent resource for general audiences, I prefer specialized reads in most cases. It might have been useful for her to have three separate books- one book that’s for beginners and novices, another for intermediate lovers, and placed her extra kinky writings in an entirely separate book. Some of the information is at times too basic, and at others, too shocking, which, even if separated can throw the reader around.

* Not enough pictures. As a matter of fact, there really aren’t any pictures, which could break up the monotony of consistent (yet thoroughly engaging) text that comprises this 350 page sex manual. Then again, to be honest, I hate fuzzy black-and-white photographs; they make a book seem 10 years older than it really is.

Final Word: Nina Hartley’s Guide to Total Sex is almost an essential requirement for any sensual connoisseur’s bookshelf. Witty, honest, engaging, and informative, Hartley’s paperback provides a near perfect intersection of sexuality, education and intelligence that you cannot find so easily these days. While some chapters might be too hot for some precious eyes and ears, Guide to Total Sex is one of the most authoritative and trustworthy guides to human sexuality you could ever come across.

Telling Sex Stories Can Lead to a Great Orgasm – Secrets to Dirty Talk Sex

Telling sexy stories and talking dirty in bed can lead to having better intercourse and ultimately a great orgasm. Using dirty talk is really a form of foreplay and by using it you can stimulate you partner and turn them on. Many people get into a routine and this can become boring and lead to a non exciting love life. You need to spice it up and telling each other sexy stories can be one great options to put you in the mood.

The first thing that you want to do is to find out what fantasies the other one has this way you can cater the story around that interest. Do not be afraid to try this new technique on each other because you need to try new things always to keep your love life fresh and interesting. Women like it when you talk softly in there ear so you may want to tell your sex story there so that they can fell you close to them.

It is important that when you are talking dirty that you also caress and message each other so that you can hear and feel the pleasure. Remember that when a woman is going to have an orgasm that it is very important that you have prolonged foreplay because they take longer than a man to climax. Never rush through your love making or foreplay because you need to enjoy this time and to get more intimate.

It is always best that when you are trying something new that you have all the information you can so that you can have a successful time with your partner in bed.

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Funny Marriage Advice – Explore the Adult Shops With Your Spouse

So right now I am almost 41 years old and my marriage has been great. Sometimes there is boredom but there always more way to make it more fun, more comical at times and just a better marriage for my husband and me. The funny thing is there is so much excellent advice out there on marriage, but I think my advice is a little funnier to be honest. My funny marriage advice: go the local sex store with your spouse and buy some new toys to test on you and your husband. Sex can be very fun without toys, but it is always a comical experience when you try out new sexual things. It may sound like strange advice, but I found out that many women share my funny story and have received similar marriage advice from couples which have been happily married for many years longer than they have been. There’s a lot of comical advice out there but as comical as it all is, it is still great advice regarding marriage and how to spice it up a bit in an effective manner.

Sex is always a fun time for both sides in a marriage: anyone who tells you otherwise is just giving you horrible advice. As funny as it is, go sex shopping with your spouse and try out new things. The first time for me was actually very embarrassing and it was quite shocking; I felt funny being in such a store. Yet at the same time it caused an allure to want to go back and when we came home and began to experiment with our toys, it was not only funny at first, but was amazing. Now it is funny because every one or two months, we go together to adult shops and sex stores to see new toys and learn new ways to experiment. The story to me is very comical but this funny marriage advice is some of the best I have ever received.

I thought this story for advice was unique to my situation but many married couples have done it before mine. The couples I found out from have been married for far longer than I; they have been married for 30 years where I have been married for only seven years. This advice has been around for a long time, it is just that many people are scared to talk about sex openly, especially women. Fortunately however, more couples and women are losing that shame and proud to share their married stories no matter how comical or how funny they are; we can always learn from others advice on marriage whether it be sex shopping together or taking a random class together to learn something new such as ballet. It mat all sound like funny marriage advice; but as comical as it may seem; it is great information that makes for more exciting and entertaining relationships that last longer.

Sex Stories – Tips For a Great Swinging Couples Party

You’re no stranger to block parties and birthdays, but now you’re looking to throw a party with a little more of an adult theme? For wild couples, swing parties can be fun for an anniversary or special birthday, or they can be great events for you to organize regularly. So what do you have to consider? As in all sex stories, what’s important are the fundamentals:

Where to Have your Party

Your own home is your best bet for your party as a new host. You might be tempted to hold a party outside in warm weather- lots of space, beautiful scenery and easy cleanup. But this isn’t wise unless you live VERY far away from your neighbors.
You may think a high fence or tall trees provide privacy, but even if your neighbors can’t see you, they can still hear you! This can result in a complaint and an unfortunate police visit.
Attempts to hide your party attendees’ sounds with loud music won’t work. Those bright colorful lights you’ll see aren’t festive decorations, but police cars out front.
All this considered, it’s best to keep the action inside when you start out. If you’re a real beginner, you’ll also want to attend a few swing parties before trying to host your own.
Sometimes people consider hosting as an easy way to make some money, but like most plans for fast money, it’s not as simple as it looks. It’s important to plan your parties well, and you’re not hosting a spectator sport. In order to get along with your guests and have a good party, you should be into swinging yourself.

The Guest List

In the beginning you should invite people you know from other swingers’ parties and groups. You’ll want to get more comfortable with hosting and more familiar with swinging before you let strangers show up.
Saturday night’s alright for swinging- people tend to be too tired to get into it at the end of the week on Friday. It’s a good idea to start promoting your party about a month in advance, and encourage people to bring people they actually know, but not friends of friends.
Make this rule very clear: couples only!! Single men often try to crash to take advantage of what they imagine is just one big orgy- that’s not what this is about. Single men or women can cause jealousies and complications. Limiting your guest list to couples allows everyone to relax and enjoy themselves.

What to Serve your Guests

It’s illegal to sell alcohol without a liquor license so you can’t charge for alcohol or you could be arrested. Instead, charge a fee per couple to attend and give away the food and liquor. $30 per couple is a standard charge, or you can charge a smaller fee and make it BYOB.
One of the first things you should establish is how many couples you can accommodate, depending on space, your comfort, and the energy you want your party to have. You can overbook by 50% because a lot of people may not show up.
Require that people RSVP by e-mail. This way, you’ll have the e-mails of all the people who are attending so you can send them the time, date and location of the party, along with rules and any fun details of a theme if you’re having one (these are common at swing parties.)

Speaking of Rules…

You should say up front whether you’ll allow smoking and any kind of cameras/documentation. These can make some guests uncomfortable, so they should know what they’re getting into.
Make it clear that the party is supposed to be fun and safe for everyone, and you won’t tolerate drunkenness or fighting.
Also, all activities will be completely consensual and no one will have to participate in anything they aren’t comfortable with.

Use these simple guidelines and you’ll have your guests coming again and again!

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How Women Enjoy Eroticism Through Sex Stories

Most heterosexual women do not masturbate. They also do not find the concepts of eroticism or fantasy that appealing. So who reads all the feminine erotica out there?

Presumably some lesbian women masturbate and read erotica. In fact, female masturbation and clitoral stimulation are often associated with lesbianism. Perhaps this is why so much female erotica focuses on women’s bodies and sex between women.

No offence to lesbian or bisexual women but I am straight. I like male body parts, male psyche and sexual acts involving men. The woman is incidental. I enjoy homosexual erotica because I imagine myself on the receiving end of fellatio or anal sex, for example.

Female erotica often includes humiliation, domination and sadism. The titles of women’s sex stories abound with words such as: slave, chains, torture, bound, obey, submission. Do women associate sex with feeling ‘dirty’ or guilty about their sexual urges?

I like the wholehearted enthusiasm for sex that is portrayed in homosexual erotica. There is no virginal reluctance or demure disgust. People just enjoy the eroticism of sexual activity without anyone being forced into anything against their will (not always but mostly).

I admit that domination can be arousing. Given there is so much out there I have read my share. One book of sex stories involved a series of sadistic scenarios and frankly I was quite relieved when I eventually tired of the never-ending pain. My conclusion is that the concept of sadism may get me going but, for me at least, it does not cause orgasm.

It was a revelation to me that, unlike pornography, erotica is not intended solely for the purposes of causing sexual arousal. Perhaps this explains why I often struggle to find sex stories for women that can assist with orgasm. I have to wonder though… what else does anyone read this stuff for?

Shere Hite was phenomenal but sadly few women relate to her findings. This is because most women approach sex through their relationship with their lover. They have no concept of enjoying their own sexual arousal through clitoral stimulation. Equally they have never discovered the pleasures of sexual fantasies.

I read Hite when I was twenty and I understood that clitoral stimulation was critical to female orgasm from masturbation. However, clitoral stimulation never seemed to help with my sexual arousal during sex with my partner. The fact is that even during female masturbation, clitoral stimulation only leads to orgasm when it is combined with the use of sexual fantasies.

Men have a fairly natural transition from masturbation to sex because they use images of naked women for arousal. Women do not use images of naked men during masturbation so it is more difficult for them to transfer their orgasm techniques including their use of sexual fantasies to sex with a partner.